Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone

  • 3h 49m
  • Mark Goulston
  • AMACOM
  • 2010

The skills you need to get through to anyone—when a job, a sale, a deal, or a relationship hangs in the balance.

The first make-or-break step in persuading anyone to do anything is getting them to hear you out. Whether the person is a harried colleague, a stressed-out client, or an insecure spouse, things will go from bad to worse if you can’t break through emotional barricades.

Drawing on his experience as a psychiatrist, business consultant, and coach, and backed by the latest scientific research, author Mark Goulston shares simple but powerful techniques readers can use to really get through to people—whether they’re coworkers, friends, strangers, or enemies. Just Listen reveals how to:

  • Make a powerful and positive first impression
  • Listen effectively
  • Make even a total stranger—a potential client, perhaps—feel “felt”
  • Talk an angry or aggressive person away from an instinctual, unproductive reaction and toward a more rational mindset
  • Achieve buy-in, the linchpin of all persuasion, negotiation, sales, and more

Getting through is a fine art but a critical one. With the help of this groundbreaking book readers will be able to turn the “impossible” and “unreachable” people in their lives into allies, devoted customers, loyal colleagues, and lifetime friends.

About the Author

Mark Goulston, M.D., is a business psychiatrist who through his early career intervened with suicidal and violent individuals. This eventually led to his training of hostage negotiators for the police and the FBI. From this experience he developed an uncanny ability to get through to virtually anyone, and the methods he used form the basis of Just Listen. Along with that, he made house calls to dying senior executive patients and their families, during which he helped people resolve disputes at the eleventh hour. Family members then brought him in to work with their family companies, which is when Dr. Goulston’s work crossed over into the business world.

Over the last 25 years, Dr. Goulston has worked with middle-market to Fortune 1000 companies and with boutique to national law and CPA firms, teaching them the listening skills to get through and break down silos both internally and externally. Internally, this resulted in more transparency, a freer flow of information, and more nimble and resilient organizations. Externally, when facing clients, boards of directors, and shareholders of companies, this enabled the organizations to shorten their sales cycles, effectively and consistently communicate their values and value propositions, and ultimately succeed in the marketplace.

Dr. Goulston’s unique insight on interpersonal and communication challenges coupled with his 30-plus years as a clinical psychiatrist have enabled individuals, teams, and organizations to achieve their full potential.

His list of past and present clients includes Goldman Sachs, IBM, Federal Express, Xerox, Accenture, Deutsche Bank, Bloom berg, Kodak, Merrill Lynch, Wells Fargo, Merrill Lynch, Bank of America, the Los Angeles District Attorney, the Los Angeles Police Department, and the FBI.

Dr. Goulston has been a professor at UCLA’s famed Neuropsychiatric Institute for more than 25 years and was selected as one of America’s Top Psychiatrists in 2009, 2005, and 2004 by the Washington, D.C., based Consumers’ Research Council of America.

He is a best-selling author whose books include Get Out of Your Own Way with coauthor Philip Goldberg, and Get Out of Your Own Way at Work. He writes the Tribune syndicated column “Solve Anything with Dr. Mark” and writes and contributes content to the Harvard Business Review, The Huffington Post, and Fast Company. He is frequently asked to share his expertise with national print and broadcast media, including The Wall Street Journal, Fortune, Newsweek, Time, Reuters, NPR, CNN, Fox News and the Oprah and Today shows.

In this Book

  • Just Listen—Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone
  • Foreword
  • Who’s Holding You Hostage?
  • A Little Science—How the Brain Goes from “No” to “Yes”
  • Move Yourself from “Oh F#@& to OK”
  • Rewire Yourself to Listen
  • Make the Other Person Feel “Felt”
  • Be More Interested Than Interesting
  • Make People Feel Valuable
  • Help People to Exhale Emotionally and Mentally
  • Check Your Dissonance at the Door
  • When All Seems Lost— Bare Your Neck
  • Steer Clear of Toxic People
  • The Impossibility Question
  • The Magic Paradox
  • The Empathy Jolt
  • The Reverse Play, Empathy Jolt #2
  • “Do You Really Believe That?”
  • The Power of “Hmmm....”
  • The Stipulation Gambit
  • From Transaction to Transformation
  • Side by Side
  • Fill in the Blanks
  • Take It All the Way to “No”
  • The Power Thank You and Power Apology
  • The Team from Hell
  • Climbing the Ladder
  • The Narcissist at the Table
  • Stranger in Town
  • The Human Explosion
  • Getting Through to Yourself
  • Six Degrees of Separation
  • Afterword
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