151 Quick Ideas to Improve Your People Skills
- 1h 53m
- Bob Dittmer, Stephanie McFarland
- Red Wheel/Weiser
- 2009
Do you work with other people? Fellow employees; your boss; customers; vendors; colleagues? Of course, we all work in organizations comprised of people. People with whom we must have strong, positive relationships in order to ensure our own success as well as the organization’s.
Do we get any training or education on this key skill at our companies? Rarely. 151 Quick Ideas to Improve Your People Skills is constructed to help everyone do a better, more effective job of working with others.
These ideas are culled from the study of human behavior, relationships, and communication. Everything here will help you be more effective, efficient and in control of your relationships with people. In this book you will:
- Learn the difference between social intelligence and technical knowledge
- Create friends, allies, and supporters
- Learn how to analyze tough personal situations and solve them
- Understand when and how to negotiate
About the Authors
Bob Dittmer has more than 35 years of experience in the public relations, marketing, and higher education.
He is currently a faculty member with the Indiana University School of Journalism in Indianapolis, having more than 19 years of experience as an adjunct faculty member with colleges and universities around the country, in both undergraduate and graduate programs. He currently teaches public relations courses, is the director of graduate studies, and also serves as the marketing and retention officer.
Bob has also served as the director of media relations for both an American government organization with responsibilities for all of Europe, and for a major NATO organization with responsibilities for public information worldwide. He has more than 25 years of experience in public relations and advertising agencies, working with a variety of clients in both the business-to-business and business-to-consumer areas. Bob is also the author of 151 Quick Ideas to Manage Your Time and coauthor of 151 Quick Ideas for Delegating and Decision Making (with Stephanie McFarland).
More than 20 years ago, Stephanie McFarland began her management career by supervising employees for her family’s business.
Stephanie has managed projects, teams, and departments in multinational, Fortune 500, government, consultancy, and nonprofit organizations within the past 19 years. She has provided public relations counseling to more than 20 clients and employers in the electrical and pharmaceutical industries, as well as others.
Her personal philosophy of management has evolved throughout the years from merely motivating employees “to get the job done” to discovering what makes them tick as well as ways to further develop their current roles.
Stephanie is an adjunct professor for the Indiana University School of Journalism in Indianapolis, where she teaches public relations management courses to undergraduate and graduate students.
In this Book
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151 Quick Ideas to Improve Your People Skills
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How to Use This Book
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Introduction
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Why Interpersonal Skills Are So Important
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People Don’t Care How Much You Know Until They Know How Much You Care
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Social Intelligence vs. Technical Knowledge
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Be Socially Aware
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Relationships Are Priority
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The Nature of Your Relationships
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Envision What You Want From Your Relationships
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Behave in a Way That Secures Relationships
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Look for Ways to Serve Others
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Don’t Ingratiate
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Apply the Pygmalion Effect
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Believe That All People Start With Good Intentions
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Give ’Em the Benefit of the Doubt
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Live by the Golden Rule
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Practice the Platinum Rule
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Always Look Toward Solutions
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Have Reasonable Expectations of Yourself
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Have Reasonable Expectations of Others
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Be Principle-Centered
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Allow Others to Hold to Their Principles
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Set Boundaries
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Defend Your Boundaries
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Be Genuine
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Don’t Take Yourself Too Seriously
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Have a Sense of Humor
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Laugh at Yourself
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Cherish Your Goofs
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Social Skills Are Always a Work in Progress
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Your Character—and Your Reputation—Is Your Calling Card
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Be Authentic
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Act with Integrity
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Build Trust
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Keep Your Word
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Be Straight Up
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View Discernment as a Gift
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Always Show Respect
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Practice Tolerance
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Choose Words Carefully
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Words: I vs. We
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Use Kind Words
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Don’t Kill Relationships with Your Behavior
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Do Not Gossip
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Don’t Be Dismissive
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Don’t Be Condescending
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Don’t Be Manipulative
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Don’t Make Assumptions
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Don’t Be Pessimistic
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Don’t Be a Cynic
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Don’t Be Over-Reactive
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Don’t Be Domineering
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Don’t Be Overly Opinionated
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Don’t Be Overly Aggressive
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Help Others Grow
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Believe in Others
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Wage Peace in Your Relationships
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Be a Peacemaker Between Friends
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Respect Different Personality Types
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Understand Different Styles
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Recognize That Styles Differ From Opinions
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Know Your Own Style
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Stretch Beyond Your Style
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Embrace Different Styles
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Determine if You Are Shy
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Overcome Shyness
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Overcome Feeling Inferior
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Overcome Feeling Intimidated
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Don’t Be Too Talkative
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Listen, Don’t Talk
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Get Out of Your Own Way
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Douse the Domineering
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Don’t Be Reactive
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Tackle the Intimidator
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Strive for Live Interaction
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Practice Face-to-Face Communication
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At Least Make It Live
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Beware of E-mail
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Remember That People Are Creatures of Emotion
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Fill the Emotional Bank Account
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Make Friends
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Develop Your Emotional Intelligence
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Remember Names
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Look ’Em in the Eye
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Give Your Undivided Attention
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Be “Present”
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Practice Good Listening
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Connect With People through Questions
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Be Careful With Your Opinions
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Withhold Judgment
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See Both Sides
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Edify, Edify, Edify
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Give Honesty With an Equal Dose of Compassion
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Help Others Be Heard
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Help Others Be Understood
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Allow People to Save Face
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Encourage
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Encourage With Words and Perspective
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Pat Others on the Back
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Be a Cheerleader
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Help Others Achieve Their Goals
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Let Others Shine
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Look for Reasons to Celebrate
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Remember Birthdays, Anniversaries, and Such
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Fill Your Own Emotional Bank Account
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Feed Your Own Needs
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Call on Your Support Group
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Keep Honest Company
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Get Inspired
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Find Friends Who Edify You in Your Absence
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Find a Class Act to Follow
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Take a “People Break”
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Sharpen the Saw by Sharpening Your Mind
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Get Away From Your Desk for Lunch
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Attend Social Events
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Handle Conflict with Confidence
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Can’t We All Just Get Along?
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365 Opportunities for Conflict— 366 in a Leap Year
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See Conflict or Disagreement as an Opportunity
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See Rough Starts as an Opportunity
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Breathe!
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Give Yourself a Pep Talk
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Have the Difficult Conversations Beforehand
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Handle Conflict One-on-One
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Having Your Say Doesn’t Mean Always Having Your Way
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Learn to Eat Crow
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Bring the Peace Pipe
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Break Bread
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Fight Fair
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Be Mindful of Your Thoughts; They Can Be a Path to the Dark Side
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Don’t Take Things Personal
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Don’t Make Things Personal
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He Who Keeps His Mouth Shut, Keeps His Life
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Dial Down the Volume
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Watch Your Body Language—It Speaks Volumes
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Give People Space
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What Goes Over the Devil’s Back, Always Comes Under His Belly
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There Is No Right or Wrong
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Winner Never Takes All
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Fight for the Relationship
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Get Clear
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Present, Don’t Persuade
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Ask, Don’t Tell
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Look for Middle Ground
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Start from a Point of Commonality
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Some Nuts Are Worth Cracking
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Put the “Moose on the Table”
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Pick Your Battles
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Mend Fences
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Forgive Yourself for Failings
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Forgive Others as Well
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Be the First to Offer the Olive Branch—or the Peace Pipe
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Every Difficult Relationship Has Lessons
